now im having it out with the rain

revival

2007-11-25T21:46:50Z

i am calling for a livejournal revival.
now.
who is with me?

sinews_tangle @ 2006-03-08T20:16:00

2006-03-09T01:20:23Z

i forgot

sinews_tangle @ 2005-12-24T15:55:00

2005-12-24T20:55:25Z

merry christmas eve.

sinews_tangle @ 2005-12-18T19:21:00

2005-12-19T00:23:31Z

i cant do this.

sinews_tangle @ 2005-12-04T11:54:00

2005-12-04T16:55:20Z

for the most part, i am very happy.

sinews_tangle @ 2005-10-17T01:11:00

2005-10-16T05:12:20Z

i have been thinking a lot lately

and that never brings any good

sinews_tangle @ 2005-10-16T01:09:00

2005-10-16T05:09:51Z

because you tagged me, dear meg

5 details about me:
-i try very very hard to be a good person
-i (try to) play the guitar
-i went to africa this past summer and would go back this second if i had the chance
-ive always wanted to be artistic
-im hate making decision

5 details about your appearance right now:
-i have my work clothes on still
-im wearing adams giant blue hoodie
-my socks are white with grey toes
-i probably would look either really depressed or completely depressed if someone were to look at me right now
-my hair is messy

5 things you did yesterday:
-had a conversation with someone i miss
-put gas in my tank
-wrote a song (that i never completed) for sam
-missed a petty fight
-thought too much

5 memorable things you did in the last year:
-went to africa
-got a speeding ticket
-met some amazing people
-started my last high school theatre production
-became more serious about ceramics

5 favorite movies:
-closer
-garden state
-eternal sunshine
-10 things i hate about you
-the virgin suicides

5 things that make you happy:
-simplicity
-storms
-falling in love
-green trees with splotches of red leaves
-every single little kid in africa (i swear to you, they are the most beautiful kids in the world)

5 things that impress you:
-sincerity
-people who seem to love everyone and everything, but not in a naive way
-sams guitar playing ability
-good art
-the acordian

5 things that don't impress you:
-arrogance
-losing my trust (which is near impossible to get in the first place)
-immaturity
-driving too fast
-forcing me to make decisions

5 things you can't live without:
-music
-art
-i cant live without ever going back to africa
-learning to play another instrument
-caffeine

I am tagging
take_five
dover_hpb
meradyth
soap_and_salt

we looked like giants

2005-10-13T22:33:00Z

i realized at that concert just how many death cab songs i have connected to memories. one relationship in particular, actually.
it was depressing in a nostalgic way. definately not in an "i want to be with him again" way. (because for so many reasons it is certainly not that.) it was just odd to realize how many of those songs have memories of when he and i were us attatched to them.

"i stumbled upon pictures i tried to forget
and thats how this idea was drilled into my head...
but theres no blame for how our love did slowly fade
and now that its gone its like it wasnt there at all"

sinews_tangle @ 2005-10-11T18:51:00

2005-10-11T22:53:46Z

school is stressing me out.
but tonight i have friends,
and tomorrow i have death cab.
lovely.

"you know ill call you eventually when i want to talk, till then you're invisible"

2005-10-03T00:50:25Z

"i dont want to be seen as a pretty thing
cause its the pretty things
that we're always breaking
and as she whispers into the mirror
'i am broken'"

LJ Interests thingy...

2005-09-26T01:58:28Z

blankets:
that comfort that comes with curling up under blankets with someone you love. and the security they provide when you are six years old and think that the monsters hiding under your bed cant get you if you hide under the blankets.
climbing trees:
playing guitar and singing and knowing that you would be here for me when i came back from my adventure in africa. and getting hit by a sprinkler when you get halfway up.
dance parties:
we always took over his apartment and danced to the killers when one of us was sad. and then we took pictures in the dark and forgot that that our hearts were breaking.
garden state:
the day it came out on video (which would be the first time i ever saw it) we went out to by sprees so we could pick out the yellow ones and draw smiley faces on them. and i met you for the first time, and you thought i hated you even though i didnt. and it was the last time i remember all those people i loved or would come to love being in one place with no one hurting anyone else.
i heart huckabees:
i remember watching this movie with you and a lot of people you were friends with but that i didnt really know, and you held my hand under blankets so that no one would see. and i was still happy with the secret i was keeping because you hadnt destroyed me yet.
les miserables:
this is the first show i was ever in. and i remember the cast wasnt close with anyone outside of their groups, but we all smiled at eachother and layed on the cement ground and did homework. and i always wished i had got to know some of you sooner, but at least i came out of it with a few people i know are there for me still.
peace corps:
one day...
skirts:
i love skirts, especially that one i lost at your house when we went swimming in our clothes and i had to wear you pajamas home.
tea:
i had tea every morning in africa; sometimes it would be the only thing i had all day. the smell always makes me wish i was back there, so i dont drink it that often because it makes me homesick (or i suppose countrysick considering the circumstance).
vegetarianism:
dont eat animals, it makes them (and me) sad

Enter your LJ user name, and 10 interests will be selected from your interest list.

The Occasionlly Spectacular but Mostly Ordinary Adventures of Deven. by Sam Taylor

2005-09-18T22:25:29Z

CHAPTER ONE - The exinction of all humans

once upon a time, deven was running. she ran and ran and ran until she was like, "holy fuckin' ass and donkey," because she was tired. "man, I gota get some eats, yo." then she went to munch-o-mannn's, a new eatery establishment. there she ate a vegetarian dish called Doo-wah-ne-conga, an indian dish. "well, dear server, this is delishciouss," she said. then she realized in a fit of freaking out and fuzzy painful realization that she had no money. "I am sorry, Sir Waiter, but I cannot pay." The swordfight that ensued was firey and painful for eryone Deven killed so many people, there was no one left in the world. then she was lonely forever until she died. the human race was extinct. she killed them w/ a samauri sword. blood flowed in the oceans and rivers. deven did not cry. here were still turtles and seagulls. the earth was not knkocked off it's orbit.

the end... or is it?

sinews_tangle @ 2005-09-14T22:19:00

2005-09-15T02:19:29Z

remember me?

sinews_tangle @ 2005-09-07T15:04:00

2005-09-07T19:04:24Z

i quit

im scared of myself

2005-09-06T18:55:14Z

i dont want to be the one that breaks you

"sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole
just like a faucet that leaks
and there is comfort in the sound
but while you debate half empty or half full
it slowly rises.
your love is gonna drown"

i promise you i wasnt always like this...

2005-09-05T20:37:41Z

im never hold onto anything for very long.
and nothing holds onto me for long either.
and i feel like im losing it all again.

"i was afraid to be alone,
now im scared thats how i like to be"

im alone like i used to be,
when you brought it all crashing down,
you said it didnt really matter,
you and i still hated eachother,
and you werent here yet.

and now you only pretend to care so i wont bring your world crashing down
amends are unreachable with you,
you are drifting farther every day,
and you came and left so quickly.

"all my lies are only wishes
i know i would die if i could come back new"

sinews_tangle @ 2005-09-02T11:16:00

2005-09-02T15:18:35Z

today is going to be a good day.

i promise you, im doing the best i can.

2005-08-31T21:46:09Z

i want to run away. far far far away and go somewhere where no one knows me. and i can start over and leave everything thats happened behind.and stop hurting the people im hurting. stop making people feel uncomfortable. stop feeling uncomfortable. somewhere people wont speculate because they dont know. where people wont say "you do that because you hang out with her" or "you got that saying from him" or "you say that exactly like she does", making me feel like i am just random clips from other peoples lives which have been sloppily pasted together. somewhere where they wont accidentally call me her name. somewhere i can be anonymous again. where i can forget everything thats haunting me and try to be happier.

sinews_tangle @ 2005-08-31T13:08:00

2005-08-31T17:11:23Z

i never could give you what you wanted
or what you needed.
and im sorry that you are lonely
and that i cant fix it.
and for so many other things
that just arent worth saying anymore.

i am alone and alone and alone.

2005-08-29T21:34:30Z

the sun is shining brightly in the sky and making me feel overwhelmed;
i dont think i can take another sunny day.
when the sky is bright and cloudless like this i feel trapped like im in a fishbowl.
and much to small and insignificant to try to keep myself from getting in arguments
so i have been hurting and angering everyone i talk to today.
and i keep randomly crying for so many reasons...

i cant keep you happy,
especially when im like this.
and you are always sad by the time i go home.
making music and memories is never enough.
im sorry im sorry.

sometimes i look in a direction and wonder if im staring in exact direction of where you are.
and i want to call you but im scared ill make you angry at me
because ive been making everyone else upset with me today.
i feel so small and frightened right now and i want to hold onto you and feel safe.
i always want what i cant have.

This is for you my dear sam

2005-08-27T05:19:31Z

Bowl of Oranges - Bright Eyes

2005-08-23T04:02:19Z

The rain had started tapping on the window near my bed
There was a loophole in my dreaming so I got out of it
And to my surprise my eyes were wide and already open
Just my nightstand and my dresser where those nightmares had just been

So I dressed myself and left then, out into the gray streets
But everything seemed different and completly new to me
The sky, the trees, houses, buildings even my own body
And each person I encountered, I couldn't wait to meet

And I came upon a doctor who appeared in quite poor health
I said, "There's nothing that I can do for you, you can't do for yourself"
He said, "Oh yes you can, just hold my hand, I think that that would help"
So i sat with him a while and i asked him how he felt
he said, "I think I'm cured. No, in fact, I'm sure of it
thank you stranger for your theraputic smile."

So that's how I learned the lesson that everyone's alone
And your eyes must do some raining if you're ever gonna grow
When crying don't help, you can't compose yourself,
it's best to compose a poem
An honest verse of longing or a simple song of hope

That's why I'm singing, baby, don't worry cause now i've got you back
And everytime you feel like crying I'm gonna try and make you laugh
And if i can't, if it just hurts too bad, then we'll wait for it to pass
And i will keep you company through those days so long and black

We'll keep working on the problem we know we'll never solve
Of love's uneven remainders our lives are fractions of a whole
But if the world could remain within a frame like a painting on a wall
then i think we'd see the beauty then and stand staring in awe
At our still lives posed like a bowl of oranges
like a story told by the fault lines and the soil

its all a blur now

2005-08-21T19:27:01Z

i feel pretty ok.
i think i am.
im hanging out with my dearest sam today.
which means adventures and music.
yay.

edit

i am feeling quite upset now
and i dont know why
and im trying to be okay when nothing seems wrong
sam, we'll make eachother smile today.
because you almost always make me feel better
and we'll write songs about nothing
but they'll all start with a G or a C
because thats the familiarity we like.

fuck

2005-08-16T03:29:56Z

my fish died.
it seems fitting.
because the point of getting a fish is because almost everything i love is leaving or has left.
so it only seems fitting that the thing i was going to hold onto dies.
i am crying.
and not because of the fish.
its just a stupid fish.
but its the cumulation of it all.
fuck.

love

2005-08-15T03:55:22Z

emily and i got fishes (fish? fishies?) tonight
because we are spontaneous as fuck.
his name is Arnold and he is very happy.